When Worry Takes Up Too Much Room

When Worry Takes Up Too Much Room

There is regular worry.

Did I lock the door?

Did I remember to pay the electric bill?

Why hasn't my daughter called me back?

And then there's the kind of worry that moves in, rearranges the furniture and starts acting like it owns the place.

You wake up worrying.

You go to bed worrying.

One concern gets settled and your mind immediately finds another one.

Health. Money. Family. The future. Something you said three days ago. Something that might happen six months from now.

Everyone worries sometimes. But when worry begins interfering with sleep, concentration, relationships or everyday life, it's worth paying attention. Persistent anxiety isn't simply an unavoidable part of getting older, and effective treatments are available. (National Institute of Mental Health)

Worry Has a Job

Worry isn't automatically bad.

Your brain is designed to notice possible problems.

A little worry reminds you to check the weather before a trip, make a doctor's appointment when something doesn't feel right or double-check that you turned off the stove.

That's useful.

The problem begins when the alarm system keeps sounding even when there isn't an immediate problem to solve.

That's when worry stops protecting your day and starts taking it over.

Life After 60 Comes With Real Things to Think About

There can be plenty on your mind at this stage of life.

Will my retirement savings last?

What happens if my health changes?

Should I stay in this house?

What if something happens to my spouse?

Are my children doing okay?

What was that noise my car made yesterday?

These aren't imaginary concerns.

But there's a difference between thinking about a problem so you can do something about it and repeatedly thinking about something when there is nothing more you can do right now.

One moves you forward.

The other keeps you circling the same block.

Ask Yourself: “Can I Do Something About This Today?”

This is a wonderfully simple question.

Suppose you're worried about an upcoming doctor's appointment.

Can you do something today?

Yes.

Write down your questions.

Gather your medication list.

Confirm the appointment.

Arrange transportation.

You've turned worry into action.

But perhaps you're thinking:

“What if the doctor finds something terrible?”

Can you solve that today?

No.

You don't have that information yet.

So when the thought returns, remind yourself:

I've done what I can do today.

It won't magically erase every anxious thought.

But it gives your mind somewhere to put it.

Get the Worry Out of Your Head

Sometimes thoughts feel larger because they're bouncing around with nowhere to land.

Write them down.

Nothing fancy.

Take a piece of paper and make two columns:

Something I Can Do

and

Something I Can't Control Right Now

Then sort your worries.

Call the insurance company?

Something you can do.

Wonder whether the economy will collapse in 2034?

We're putting that one in the other column.

Writing things down can help separate an actual task from a frightening possibility.

And sometimes what feels like 27 different problems turns out to be three problems wearing different hats.

Give Worry an Appointment

This sounds strange, but it can be useful.

Instead of trying to force yourself to stop worrying, give yourself a designated time to think about what's bothering you.

Maybe 15 minutes in the afternoon.

When a worry pops up earlier, write it down and tell yourself:

“I'll think about that during my worry time.”

Then return to what you were doing.

You're not pretending the concern doesn't exist.

You're simply refusing to give it unlimited access to your entire day.

Worry doesn't need a 24-hour visitor's pass.

Your Body May Be Joining the Conversation

Anxiety isn't always just thoughts.

It can show up physically too.

NIMH notes that anxiety can involve restlessness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, trouble sleeping, fatigue, muscle tension, headaches, stomachaches and other physical symptoms. (National Institute of Mental Health)

That's one reason persistent symptoms are worth discussing with a healthcare professional.

Don't automatically decide:

“It's just anxiety.”

And don't automatically decide:

“Something terrible must be wrong.”

Let a qualified professional help you sort it out.

Turn Down the Volume Around You

Sometimes we're feeding our worry without realizing it.

Twenty-four-hour news.

Social media.

Crime stories.

Political arguments.

Weather alerts.

Financial predictions.

Health stories.

Another notification.

Another headline.

Another person explaining why something terrible is definitely about to happen.

Your brain wasn't designed to process every frightening event happening everywhere in the world before breakfast.

You can stay informed without staying immersed.

Try checking the news once or twice a day rather than continuously.

Turn off unnecessary notifications.

Unfollow accounts that constantly leave you frightened or angry.

Being informed is useful.

Being alarmed all day isn't.

Don't Underestimate the Basics

When your mind is racing, the solution often sounds as though it should be complicated.

Sometimes the first steps are remarkably ordinary.

Get outside.

Move your body.

Eat regularly.

Keep a reasonably consistent sleep schedule.

Spend time with people you enjoy.

Do something that requires your attention—gardening, cooking, puzzles, woodworking, crafts, music, walking or whatever works for you.

These things don't cure an anxiety disorder.

But routine, activity and connection can give your mind something besides worry to practice.

Talk to Someone Before You Think You “Need To”

You don't have to wait until you're falling apart to talk about what's going on.

Tell someone you trust:

“I've been worrying a lot lately.”

That's enough to start.

Sometimes saying a fear out loud changes its size.

And sometimes another person notices something you've missed.

If worry has become persistent or is interfering with your everyday life, your primary care provider is a reasonable place to start. NIMH notes that healthcare providers can help identify symptoms and connect older adults with appropriate mental-health care. (National Institute of Mental Health)

Therapy Isn't Only for a Crisis

Some people still hear the word therapy and imagine lying on a couch discussing childhood for the next 14 years.

Mental-health care is much broader than that.

Therapy can help you recognize thought patterns, develop coping strategies and learn ways to respond differently when anxiety appears.

Medication may also be appropriate for some people.

You don't have to decide which treatment you need before asking for help.

That's what the professional is there to help determine.

When Worry Becomes Something More

Pay particular attention when worry is persistent and begins affecting things such as your sleep, concentration, appetite, relationships or ability to do normal activities. Increased worry, feeling on edge, difficulty concentrating and sleep changes can be signs worth discussing with a healthcare provider. (National Institute of Mental Health)

And if worry becomes hopelessness, unbearable emotional distress, thoughts of death or suicide, or you simply feel that you cannot cope safely, get immediate support.

In the United States, you can call or text 988 or use the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. The service is free, confidential and available 24/7, and you do not have to be suicidal to contact 988 for emotional support. (988 Lifeline)

If there is immediate danger or a medical emergency, call 911. (988 Lifeline)

You Don't Have to Solve Tomorrow Tonight

That's the thing about worry.

It convinces us that if we think about something long enough, we'll somehow gain control over it.

Usually we just lose sleep.

Some things need action.

Take the action.

Some things need help.

Ask for the help.

And some things simply aren't yours to solve today.

Those can wait.

Your mind deserves room for other things too—conversation, laughter, curiosity, music, dinner with someone you love, a walk outside, a ridiculous television show, or absolutely nothing important at all.

Worry may occasionally knock on the door.

It doesn't have to move in.

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